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When cell phone first came out, people would get upset that others would answer the phone in the middle of a conversation (now everyone does it). The feeling is that whatever the caller (or online person now) has to say must be more important to you than the person you are with.
Ha, I got my husband on twitter, though! I started him two accounts - one for his business (he's a contractor) and one for our private Twitter family-room. It has my mom and dad, my brothers and their wives, my hubby and I - and now my sons say they want in on it, too - it's really cool.
My wife used to think I was just wasting time; not all of it, some was beneficial for business, but she wasn't excited about all of the extra social time spent which took focus away from the family. Then she met many of my "imaginary friends" and realized they were real friends, nice people, and they became "our" friends. Not imaginary anymore. She realized I had a network of friends all over the place, and she became a part of it. People would meet us during our travels and we had a great time connecting with good friends, even though face-to-face instances were few.
The point I'm getting at is, whether we spend time with people online or in-person, having quality relationships is important and it broadens and enriches the fabric of our daily lives. After meeting the online friends, and putting faces with the posts, my wife didn't have a problem with the online time spent.
There has to be a balance, and that's something I strive for. Some business time, some social time, some family time. It's easy to get wrapped up in online conversations; it's fun, and the diverse topical coverage is like a dynamically changing talkshow that I can watch, participate in and I can quickly find content that is important to me right now, rather than waiting for progamming to coincide with my preferences. That's pretty powerful and satisfying braincandy. The challenge is limiting yourself to a reasonable number of bites (er...bytes?), otherwise you'll get cavities! :D
My suggestion to anyone who's finding that online social networking is causing friction at home is this: Invite your family into your online life a bit. They'll enjoy it, appreciate it, and learn a ton. If you're addicted and can't limit yourself, and it causes disruption in your household or family, well...just take a break, spend time with the most important people in the world--your family--and come back online when you have a plan for moderation and better balance of time spent. I actually make a New Year's Resolution list every winter, and it includes the things I want to do more of each day or week. On that list a couple years ago, I had "read more to the kids at bedtime, date my wife more, exercise consistently, start to learn music with the kids, get to sleep before midnight more often" etc... Just having a grasp of goals for my time helped me to keep those in mind, and I became much better at spending time online in moderation. I may not have perfect balance, but I have a solid idea of where my time needs to be spent, and the priorities I've recognized define guidelines that help me devote time to all of the important areas.
Sorry for the ramble, this is an important topic for me too, and I've thought about it a lot. Having watched a few friends' families fall apart due to lack of attention and nurturing, I've become more aware of how important my treatment of time truly is.
Great discussion Jim, looking forward to seeing responses from others who've had this on their minds too.
Best Regards,
Dave Cynkin
CMO, Sleep Deprivationist & Thrill Seeker
BlogWorld & New Media Expo
http://www.BlogWorldExpo.com
We need to remember that life online is not life and we needto occassionally let go of the mouse and join the real world.
I struggle with this, daily. If I am not online, what am I missing? What if a reporter is emailing me? What if you or someone else wants my comments right away? On the email front, here is what I did to help a little..what I added to my email sig-
*Due to the volume of email I am receiving, my response time may be slower than you would like. {I guess popularity has it’s issues!}
Please call me at 216-831-2610 for a more immediate response. Thank you!
My wife says the same thing that your says."I don't need to be online all the time"
Thanx for the topic, Jim!
Joel Libava
Joel
{Did you see my silly vid?}
Here we are away for the weekend and you see where I am spending time right now. But we just got here and by the morning I plan to be caught up on what I need to do. The rest will wait til Monday.
I'll be giving an online presentation later this month to one of the largest online business associations in existance and want to use today's flip in that presentation. I'll be speaking on Fearless Parenting and work life balance for Mompreneurs.
Love how you are listening to your best friend in this matter. My challenge for you if you are willing to receive it, is to give us a follow up to this flip. You said you make sure to spend time with the fam up until the time the children go to sleep and then back to work you go. I was listening for where you've calendared yourself and your wife into your schedule. Kid time as you likely know is not personal rejuvination time or couple time either. So let us know how you have chosen to respond as a couple (aside from being parents). Let us grow with you my friend.
There's a fearless parent in all of us. Seen yours lately?
Adelaide Zindler FP (Fearless Parent)
Adelaide@FearlessParenting.com
www.FearlessParenting.com
800.599.0997
P.S. This very flip was in the forefront of my mind when you put yourself out there to mentor us recently. Who wouldn't want to take advantage of someone as filled with compassion as you are at your level. So thanks for letting us get to know the real man. You inspire us Mr. Kukral!
www.binarysemantics.com